So I had to alter
my way of looking at things. The picture I formed
over the months and years was a set of stairs,
maybe fifteen or so to break the surface, and
another fifteen to step out of the illness altogether.
The first fifteen I realised would be the most
difficult because I was operating largely in the
dark, but once my head was above water and I could
see more clearly, the second fifteen would be
easier. I had to become very clear in my own mind
what I was going to do and why I was doing it,
so that I could persevere, even if it seemed not
to make any difference at all.
I tried many therapies during the four and a half
years of the illness but I found that it was not
just a question of finding the right therapy,
but also of searching for a therapist who really
understood my condition. It is even more important
to find one who can help you to understand, so
that you can take personal responsibility for
your health. It is my experience that when the
student is ready, the teacher will appear. You
just have to let go and trust that this is the
case.
It does not really matter where you start and
neither need you feel victimised if you have not
got the money to explore different therapies.
Some of the most important things you can do are
free. Drink more water, clean up your diet, practise
slow and deep breathing until it becomes an automatic
response, learn to massage yourself, but above
all, open your heart to yourself in Love.
Feeling Love flooding through the body relaxes
the cells and helps them to recover and to heal.
Everything you do to yourself and for yourself
should be done in the spirit of Love. Do not give
your body, mind or spirit anything which is unloving.
There should be no criticism and no negative thoughts
about yourself. If you are continually faultfinding,
you will hurt yourself and you are aiming to get
better not worse. Allow yourself to experience
those thoughts which arise and cannot be let go
of, then immediately you access them, open them
up to Love and accept them. Let go of outcomes
and simply do things for yourself which are beautiful
and kind, because you are worth loving and your
energy is important to the Universe.
I know now that I will never relapse. I continue
to work on myself every day. practising chi kung
and yoga and working creatively with the food
that suits my body. I drink three to four pints
of water a day and I have eliminated tea and coffee,
which tax the liver and the kidneys and I eat
organic whenever I can. I track my mineral status
with tissue mineral analysis via hair samples
and adjust the levels accordingly with supplements.
I think that this particular procedure has massive
gains for M.E. patients. I know because I have
felt those benefits for myself. I take regular
lymphatic massage once a month and I practise
and receive Healing. I am learning JinShin Jyutsu,
which is a form of Japanese acupressure, which
balances and relaxes the body and can be used
on oneself as well as others.
I am also studying
Anatomy and Physiology as part of a reflexology
course, so that I can understand the workings
of the body on a physical level as well as the
more subtle realms. I am so well now that recently
I played five rounds of golf in a week with no
after effects. When I was first ill I was not
able to do anything for myself at all, so I have
come a long way.
I feel certain
that deep Love is the answer to recovery from
all illness, because Love always supports, appreciates
and cares for all aspects of the Self, and never
hurts, harms or criticises. Once I let go to that
Love, I began to trust that Life always knows
what it is doing, even when you find yourself
in very difficult situations and wish you were
somewhere else! It seems amazing to me now, that
I have developed so much, feel so relaxed and
am in such a state of peace, that I know that
my health will go from strength to strength as
my body, mind and spirit open to Love. This would
never have happened without going through this
nightmare illness.
What is more,
I have no doubt whatsoever, that what I have experienced,
everyone can experience, once the understanding
is there, and the courage to make the mind shift
develops. It is not a case of waiting for the
cure because I believe the answers are already
here, within the body. I have a passion now to
help as many people as possible climb the steps
to wellness, because I know from the wisdom of
personal experience that it can be done.
Good luck in your
journey, although you will learn that you make
your own luck as you begin to understand how you
create your own reality. And remember this. You
are loved unconditionally by the Divine Lover.
You always will be and that will never change.
But to experience this Love and the Oneness of
the Lover and the Beloved you need to love and
accept yourself in the same way as the Divine
Lover loves and accepts you.
And so... The
Final Surrender is to your own Love.
It's as simple
as that...
